Of all the days I’ve been dreading in this first year, I think Father’s Day is the one that weighs heaviest on me. And because I am fortunate to have my dad in my life, (He turned 84 years young on the day before Father’s Day) my sadness is for my children. They have endured 11 months and one week without their dad. And today, as the world celebrates fatherhood it’s another painful reminder of how much they have lost. I want nothing more than to take away their pain.
Rick became a dad on February 20, 1995. After a long day of labor Annika Marie arrived. Rick drove home around 2 am. He was so elated, so excited and so overcome with the gravity of becoming a father that he drove erratically and worried that he would be pulled over. He would tell you that it was the happiest day of his life.
23 months later, on January 28, 1997 Rick rushed me to the hospital and 20 minutes after we arrived he was the proud father of a son. We named him Erik David and our family was complete.
As young working parents, we were busy yet happy. When my work travels took their toll on our work/life balance, Rick quit his job to be a stay at home dad. In my newest role at USDA I had a 20 State territory as a supervisory investigator and I had many staff to meet. Rick and the kids joined me on on all my trips that were within driving distance. It was the greatest year of our lives. It is the best example I know of him Making TYM for what was important to him — our family.
As the kids got older, fatherhood for Rick meant daddy/daughter dances with Annika, coaching Erik in football, and so many other great moments. Family vacations, college visits, phone calls, fishing at grandma’s house, football games, and grilling out on Father’s day.
While it’s nice to honor all the dads on the 3rd Sunday in June, Rick lived every day over the last 22 like it was Father’s Day. He treasured his daughter and wanted nothing more than her happiness. He loved his son and he pushed him to achieve more than he was able to achieve in life. He was so proud of both of them.
So today, my daughter grieves the loss of her daddy. He will not be here to walk her down the aisle. Today my son grieves the loss of his dad. They cannot bond over beers and and he will no longer hear his dad’s praise after a game well played.
While today is sad, I am grateful. My kids has an amazing father that loved them dearly. They have memories of a dad that was truly the best during his short life. There is no doubt in Annika and Erik’s mind that they were loved dearly. Now that he is gone, others have stepped in to love them and mentor them. They are lucky to have male role models like my cousin Tim, my brother Michael and Nic’s dad Jim.
And I’m grateful for my dad. Not only did he provide a loving and safe home for me growing up; he provided me with an education and my first home and he helped me find my career with the USDA. Thank you Daddy.
To all the Dad’s – Happy Father’s Day!
