On July 7, (a Friday) Rick went into cardiac arrest while working on a home addition. As I understand it, he was with one other employee who did not see him collapse, but heard it. Emergency responders arrived quickly and revived him with aggressive CPR. In the ambulance, he was revived again and then a third time at the ER. When I arrived at the hospital in Arlington Hts. about 3 hours later, he was laying in ICU with broken ribs and he was hooked up to a number of machines and tubes. In the midst of such chaos, we did not understand that he had been sedated and it would be 48 hours before we would know if the lack of oxygen to his brain had caused irreparable damage. Meanwhile, the doctors asked me multiple questions about his heart health and suggested that as an overweight male smoker over age 50, that he was a prime candidate for a heart attack. (Quick sidebar: He was not overweight! Rick weighed the same as he did when we married – about 200 pounds. If this is considered overweight for a 5’11” tall man… Ok, rant over)
After several cardiologists evaluated Rick, we started hearing that it didn’t seem to be a heart attack that caused Rick’s heart to stop. In fact, we learned that Rick’s heart was quite strong. By Sunday, we started hearing speculation that he may have been electrocuted. One doctor even asked us if we knew how he was electrocuted!
On Sunday evening, shortly after the medical team reduced his pain meds to bring him out of sedation and to start testing his reflexes, I was by his bedside exhausted and praying for him to wake up. My sorority sisters had organized a prayer vigil for 9 pm and exactly at 9 pm, my sorority sister Sue walked in. She prayed with me and comforted me as I faced the unknown. While she was in the room with me, the nurse on duty came in to test Rick’s reflexes and to check on other vitals. During that check, the nurse shared with me in a very compassionate, yet direct way that Rick was not showing signs of improvement. In fact, he was getting worse. This was the moment I knew he was gone and Sue held me and prayed with me as I collapsed in tears.
The next morning the neurologist ordered a number of tests to test Rick’s brain activity. In hindsight, I guess this was to confirm what we already knew. It was at this time that the staff from Gift of Hope reached out to me and said – Do you know that your husband is a registered organ donor? I did.
As I sat in a consultation room with the Gift of Hope representative, I embarked on the most bizarre and awkward and surreal conversations of my life. First, I had the option to refuse organ donation. If I wanted to proceed, coordination with the Medical examiner office was needed in case an autopsy was needed and 24 hour notice was needed in order to line up donors. His heart could not be used unless he was 100% brain dead and tissue could not be used if needed for an autopsy. Certain organs had to be “harvested” sooner than others and no organs could be used if he did not pass within 90 minutes of removing life support. We would also need to work around the operating room schedule. Because we did not know if the Medical Examiner would want to do an autopsy, we first worked with them. We wanted an autopsy even if they did not pursue it. When we inquired with their office, not only did they say they planned to do an autopsy, they were already familiar with our case as OSHA had started an investigation. They had a particular physician in mind as he was studying electrocution. Can you imagine how my head was spinning at the end of these conversations?
Later that day, around 6 PM the neurologist called me with the results. The part of Rick’s brain that could still function was the part used to reason and solve complicated math. (Ironic, as he was a math whiz). The part of his brain that was damaged was the part that regulates wakefulness, reflexes, and basic life functions. If he were to recover, he would need full time support.
A family meeting between his mom Alice, sister Dianna, the kids and I occurred soon after. His mom was the first to say, this is not what Rick would want. We have to let him go. What a strong woman. Rick’s father David, her fist husband was electrocuted and died 50 years earlier in 1967. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a husband and a son in the very same way. Alice is a remarkable woman.
We gave our 24 hour notice. We went home and got some needed rest.
Tuesday was a long day. I remember being asked to write something that could be read to the Operating Room team so they could know about the person that was giving life to others. The ICU staff and Gift of Hope staff all read it and they shared how touched they were and marveled at what a wonderful person Rick was. The Gift of Hope staff gave us some lovely mementos including a beautiful blanket, a medallion, and printouts of his heartbeat. I’m going to have that tattooed on my ring finger.
At around 10PM that night, the OR team was ready and we followed the staff as they wheeled Rick’s bed down to the OR. Ten of us: Alice, Dianna, Annika and her boyfriend Nic, Erik, me and my 4 Besties stood around his bed next to the operating room as life support was removed. Can I just say, a true best friend will be by your side at a difficult moment like this. Thank you Andrew, Kelly, Mitch and Susie for being with me during the most difficult hour of my life.
The first several minutes were awkward and tense. The doctor and nurses were frantically administering morphine and monitoring vitals as the rest of us watched. My bestie Andrew broke the tension and from there we played some music and shared Rick stories. My favorite was the one his mom shared of Rick during he Evil Knevil stage, riding his bike off the back of a pick up truck. As we told our stories and held Rick’s hand, he looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping. He was even snoring lightly. At the end, he made some kind of sound and the nurse alerted us to the fact that this was it. We said our goodbyes and she asked the doctor what time should be recorded as the time of death. He said wait…his heart is still beating. His strong heart continued to beat for two more minutes. When it stopped, I looked at the clock and it was 11:17 pm – on 7-11-17. This still gives me chills.
The point of this post was to share how Rick impacted others through organ donation. Well, I am happy to report that his kidney (his only functioning kidney) went to a 62 year old man in Chicago. It is so fitting that Rick, who was so giving in life, was able to continue giving in death.
I hope I can meet the recipient some day.