Month: April 2022

Today I looked through my posts dating back to November 2017, thinking I might organize them into a story of my grief journey. In doing so, I realized I only had 2 entries over the 15 months since I retired. I could claim that I am too busy to write, but we all know that this is not possible when my favorite thing to do is nothing!

I’ve always loved to write, but I’m especially drawn in when I’m struggling with depression. Writing has been my greatest therapy in processing my extreme feelings of grief. It’s not that I’m over my grief. I will always miss Rick and the life we shared together. But time has brought me some peace and some hope and happiness.

A good friend noticed my happiness and she asked me when I had last been so happy. It didn’t take me long to think back to a weekend in December 2016 when I enjoyed an amazing weekend with Rick and my besties in San Francisco and Napa Valley. So it was over 5 years ago. Not so long ago, yet so much has happened in those 5 years.

In particular, a lot has happened in the 15 months since I retired. 

I’ve embraced the retirement life: sleeping as much as I want, traveling as much as I can, expanding my hobbies, and slowly working on my fitness and nutrition goals.

I received some closure on Rick’s accident when we mediated a resolution with the Workman’s Compensation Insurance company as well as the parties to the wrongful death lawsuit. The resolution didn’t bring me joy per se, but it brought relief and an end to a long wait. It didn’t bring justice, but it removed the threat of Rick’s competence being questioned in a courtroom. It also allowed the kids and I to have some additional financial security.

I started an LLC partnership in Rick’s honor. It’s called Real TYM and my investment allows my son to have an early start in home ownership and gives both of us an opportunity to be landlords and AirBNB hosts.  

I bought my forever home. The place I will spend the next 30-40 years, enjoying the fruits of my labor and making TYM for the most important people in my life.

And I met a guy – “the one”. Joe is devoted to his family and has a strong faith in God. We have similar interests in writing, Scrabble, football, and boating. I smile when I think of him and together we share lots of laughter. He has great respect for Rick and knows that he will never replace him in my life or the kids’. Early in our relationship I asked him to write about his ideal day. I had written about mine 2 years earlier. When we compared our writings, I knew he was part of God’s plan for me. I absolutely adore him.

This sounds like a fairy tale ending – my happily ever after. But I’d like to think of it as a new beginning. 

That is the question I keep getting after posting a picture of my future home in Georgia.  

After talking of my plans to purchase a lake home in Iowa for 2 years, it makes sense that my decision caused mass confusion.

So, what happened?  

After a couple of my offers were not accepted and another fell through prior to closing, I pressed pause and decided to stay in Chicago a little longer and enjoy my beautiful condo and boating on Lake Michigan. I even invested in a rental property with my son where I planned to live once my condo sold. After receiving two low offers on my condo, I took it off the public market and listed it privately, determined to wait for an offer that was reasonable.

And then to my surprise, when I least expected it, my condo sold. By this time I knew that my investment purchase was not contingent on the funds from my condo which meant I could now focus on finding my lake home!

While embracing my time in Chicago, I continued to watch the real estate offerings in Iowa and found that prices were escalating and like elsewhere, bidding wars ensued anytime something great hit the market.

Then it occurred to me. If I am going to have 2 homes, including the one in chilly Chicago, the other should be in a warmer climate. I zeroed in on eastern Tennessee, western North Carolina, northwest South Carolina, and northern Georgia. Next, I looked for communities near a major airport and near a  lake where my boat club operates.  

My dilemma in getting started was deciding where to look first. I decided to start in Georgia as I was intrigued by Lake Lanier and my boyfriend’s brother-in-law is an established realtor in that area. And, as I found properties I liked in neighboring States, he referred me to realtors in his network to assist.

Like everywhere, lake properties are going under contract as quickly as they hit the market.  The first few that caught my eye had multiple offers before I had even worked on financing approval.

So once again I pressed pause.  No easy task for this impatient woman. Spending a couple of weeks in Hawaii helped. Then I worked on pre-approval and scheduled a vacation to Atlanta. I even looked into subleasing an apartment.

Then, just like the sale of my condo, when I was least expecting it, I found my forever home. During my press pause phase, I had favorited a property in Cumming GA to give my realtor an idea of the amenities I wanted. On the same day I applied for an apartment lease, I got a notification that this “favorite” property was reduced in price. After touring it via facetime, I booked a flight to Atlanta to see it in person.  

It was love at first sight. A contemporary new-build with plenty of space to entertain. A large garage and bonus space perfect for my feeding ministry, AirBNB and craft studio dreams, a dream kitchen, and a place for future grandchildren, puppies, and a pool.  This is where you will find me, vacationing at home during my retirement years.

Since I was competing with multiple offers, I did not have the time I wanted to explore the area to make sure it would fit the kind of social life I desire. But never fear. I will be connecting with former colleagues, high school classmates, sorority sisters, and a friend of my bestie who is also moving to the Atlanta area. I will be closer to my parents and sister and my boyfriend Joe has six siblings nearby including his sister who has already declared us to be retired besties. And I imagine many new friends when I find a new church home.

Looking back at the vision board I created a couple of years ago, I see my new life in this home in the images. Although it’s not Iowa, I will be taking many direct flights from Atlanta to Des Moines on Delta. But when I’m home, I look forward to frequent visits from family and friends.

Is it Iowa?  No, it just might be Heaven.