I can’t believe It’s been one year without you, Dad. One year without the sound of your voice. One year without hour-long phone calls just to chat. One year without your sarcasm. One year without your advice and words of wisdom. One year without your never-ending stories. One year without hearing your smokers cough or loud snore. One year without the most loving, supportive and hardworking dad in the world.
July 11, 2017 was by far the worst day of my life. I watched my dad take his last breath and had to say my final goodbye to him. I have been dreading the first anniversary of his death for a while now. Somehow it all seems more final to me now that it has been a full year. We have had to celebrate holidays, birthdays and milestones without him here and that will become our new “normal”. Of course there will be many more milestones to face in the years to come but for me the one year mark has been the biggest obstacle to overcome so far.
It is amazing how one year can feel like the blink of an eye and a lifetime at the same time. The seasons have changed and we’ve started new traditions along the way. We’ve brought pieces of dad with us along the way and will continue to do so on our next adventures. I’ve had an especially difficult time in my grief since moving to a new state, away from the people who knew him best. It breaks my heart that my new neighbors and friends never had the pleasure of meeting the amazing man that I was lucky enough to call Dad.
It hasn’t gotten any easier, and my life will never really be the same. But I will always carry the memories I shared with him, the countless life lessons he taught me and honor his legacy of making tym for what is important. In this next year, I will talk about him more. I will share his compassion and friendliness with those around me. I will be a friend to everyone. I will make my dad proud. And I will make tym for the people and things I love.
I love you, Dad and I miss you more every day that passes.
Annika, what a beautiful tribute to your dad! I think of you and your family often! You did it, survived year 1, onto year 2, you’ve got a positive attitude and support of your mom and brother, other family and friends too! Wishing the best to you, keep writing, it’s good for the soul!