My dearest Rick,
Tomorrow is 11-SEVEN-18 and it will be 483 days since SEVEN-11-17, the day you took your last breath. The hard days are fewer and far between but yesterday was a really hard day.
I just spent a weekend with my college friend Ann and I also got to see my college friends Alice, Diane, and Shelby. You know how much I love my girl time and our time shopping, dining and drinking wine was really great. We went to Erik’s game and then I spent Sunday with Annika doing more shopping, dining and drinking wine. Before I fell asleep Sunday night I stared at your picture on her nightstand. I’ve removed your pictures from my bedroom so I suppose its been a while since I looked at your smiling face. I woke in the middle of the night from a nightmare. I don’t remember what it was about but I cried out loud enough to wake the grand pups.
It was a long drive home and I had a good cry between Iowa City and the Quad Cities. I’m so lonely without you Rick. I miss you so much and it is so unfair that we will not grow old together. A 5 1/2 hour drive by myself meant lots of time to think. I spent a lot of that time talking to God. I do that a lot lately and this might surprise you but I am learning to be a better listener during these conversations. I find it strange, but your death has strengthened my faith in HIM.
God is answering my prayers, yet my day was filled with doubt and despair. The kind of despair that should have brought me to my knees in prayer – but I was driving. Still, I prayed for God to fill the terrible void I feel. I prayed for him to bring someone into my life that I can share all of life’s moments with. After returning home, I went to the doctor for my annual check-up and I really needed to talk to you about it. In my customary fashion I sat down with the computer and started writing, with tears flowing. And then he called to see how my doctor appointment was.
Before I tell you who HE is, here is some background.
On September 11, I took some time to write down what I am seeking in a relationship in this next phase of my life. SEVEN days later, (the day after your birthday) I met him on the SEVENTH dating app I tried. He checks all the boxes. He is a Christian. He is a loving father. And he loves football. Since that day we have talked ALOT. He has the gift of gab just like you. We also text a lot. I know that wasn’t your thing but I don’t think you ever discovered the talk to text feature!
He is such a sweet man Rick. He has a strong faith in God and he is devoted to his children and grandchildren. The big drawback is the distance between us. While neither of us were looking for a match outside our local area, we matched and we have really connected over the past SEVEN weeks. He lives in Michigan. It’s not a huge distance but the added time zone change and our busy lives have made it difficult for us to connect in person…until now.
Tomorrow, on 11-SEVEN-18 we are going out on our first date. And I wanted you to be the first to know!
I will always love you Rick.
Julie
