Dear Rick,
It’s a cold snowy night in Chicago. It’s the kind of night where you just want to stay in by a warm fire with a home cooked meal, followed by a good movie while snuggled up on the couch with your love.
I watched Sleepless in Seattle and found myself wondering if love ever happens like that in real life. Probably not. I’ve been searching on Match.com for a second time. I’m not obsessed with reading all the profiles like I was before. And I no longer care about the rejections – most of the guys are fake anyway! It’s pretty time consuming and honestly, I’m learning to find joy in being single. Dating is supposed to be fun, but so far it’s not. Tonight, Jason, a realtor in Andersonville said he wanted to get together and when I suggested we meet for a drink he said it was to cold to go out. I think Jason wanted a house call – sorry Jason. Your loss.
So now I am listening to your favorite band, the BoDeans. It brings back memories of the times we saw them in concert and dancing at our wedding. Last weekend I met one of the former drummers and oh how I wished you were there to meet him! And guess what? They are playing in Oswego this summer. Two years too late, but still.
I want you to know that despite having a very rocky start to 2019, things are getting so much easier for me. After missing two paychecks, the government is back in business and I can go back to having more routine in my life. You of all people know how much I need something to get me out of bed in the morning. And the great therapist that had to drop me has figured out a solution with my insurance so I am getting back on track with her this week. And a dear friend has given me a financial gift that has eased my financial worries. God is answering my prayers Rick. I am so grateful.
Speaking of grateful….our friend Mary shared an idea that I have adopted. Each day, I post about someone that I am grateful for, while sharing what I love about them. I am 26 days in and I can’t explain how uplifting this has been for me. It is so healing to be able to focus on the incredible bounty of blessings in my life instead of dwelling on how much I miss the greatest blessing in my life. I don’t think 365 days will be enough to show my love to all the wonderful people in my life. What a great problem to have.
Tomorrow I will be supporting my friend Lisa. She too is now a young widow and it’s been a week of disbelief. Am I at an age where funerals are more common than weddings? As I have thought about Lisa this week, I reflected on Terry’s death 4 weeks before your accident. I remember how hard it was to see Amy in pain and how helpless I felt and how uncomfortable I was because I didn’t want to see her cry.
But now that I have been through such a heart wrenching loss, I have confidence in knowing what Lisa needs. I am thankful that I can be there for her tomorrow and in the days ahead as she struggles to adjust to a new normal. I am grateful that God can use me in this way; it’s part of the silver lining I suppose. It’s bittersweet for sure.
I’ve rambled on enough for now. I just wanted to check in and let you know that I am doing well and feeling closer to free.
I miss you,
Julie
