Dear 26 Year Old Self,
You are engaged! You are so excited to be planning your future with Rick. You are pretty focused on china patterns, house hunting, a song list for the DJ, and your honeymoon. You are wondering when Rick is going to tell you about the exotic secret destination he picked out.
You have no idea what is in store for you over the next 28 years and surely being single again is the furthest thing from your mind. But that is why I’m writing. It’s been so long since your 54 year old self has been single. She is having a hard time remembering what it was like.
You see, your 54 year old self is in therapy and this week’s assignment is to think about dating in the context of how different 54 year old Julie is from the Julie in her 20’s.
Besides the obvious circumstantial differences – the internet; 80 pounds; being a mom; and being financially secure – I’m finding it challenging to zero in on the more obscure differences.
For example, in many ways, I am just like my 26 year old self. I love to spend time with friends and I can still dance with a beer on my head. I would still describe myself as creative, social, professional, family oriented, giving and thoughtful.
And sure, my circumstance have changed. I’m now a city girl without a car. I’m committed to my faith more than ever. I’m developing my interest in writing. I’m thinking about retirement and what that might look like. And every day, I make my bed. (This might not be important but I never used to do so.)
So 28 years later as I think about my next romantic relationship, I know a lot more. I know what it is like to be loved in good times and in bad. I am smarter and have formed more educated opinions. My tastes in design, fashion, food and wine have evolved. I know what I want and frankly, this scares me because it certainly limits my options in a pool of eligibles that is much smaller than it was 30 years ago. Some days I feel like I am searching for a needle in a haystack.
Even though I am blonder, I’m not as sexy as I was at age 26 and neither are the potential matches I am seeing on-line. I have wondered if I would “like” Rick’s profile on Match.com if I were meeting him now instead of at age 23?
These are just some of the random thoughts going through my mind, when I should be in bed. I’ve got a few more days to work on this assignment so I will close for now. Perhaps my 26 year old self will speak to me in my dreams and remind me of the joys of being single and dating and searching for love.