Several days ago I had the amazing opportunity to hear Michelle Obama talk about her book Becoming. It was an entertaining night, listening to her share special moments from her life. Her journey as a mom, wife, and daughter is much like mine and other women, minus her experience in the White House. It’s a journey of growth and discovery. It’s a journey filled with celebrations and disappointments. Like her, I am exploring who I am and deciding who I want to become.
Last night I was talking with Werner, a new man I met and I was telling him how I am learning a lot about myself through the process of dating. When I was married, I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about my interests or my life purpose. I was pretty focused on working, raising my kids and managing a household. There is something about writing up a personal resume on Match.com that makes you stop and reflect on what is important to you. I told Werner about rediscovering my passion for writing. I shared how my faith in God has become stronger and how different dating is from the 80’s.
What I didn’t share with Werner is my uncomfortableness with being single.
I’ve spent a lot of time praying about this. The frustration and rejection and time spent searching for love on the dating apps has made me wonder if it’s worth it. Every other day I change my mind. Tomorrow I will delete. Then tomorrow comes and I talk to someone endearing like Werner and I think I’ll wait and see.
Last week I hosted a dinner party for several couples that I am close to. I almost didn’t do it. I was a tiny bit worried about being the only single among my friends but my therapist helped remind me that my friends love me just as much when I am on my own. I was mostly sad that I didn’t have a partner to help me plan the menu and to serve the drinks. All I had to do was ask, and of course my besties came to the rescue. It was a lovely night.
Recently I’ve been negligent in getting enough exercise. Ok, not just recently. My trainer asked me to start putting an X across my calendar on the days I do not exercise. Today was a beautiful day and a good excuse to not X out the day. I put on my walking shoes and looked up the podcast that a friend had recommended. As I was browsing the list of topics, the one on singleness jumped out at me.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bridgetown-audio-podcast/id84246334?mt=2&i=1000427206727
Four miles later, as I finished the podcast I was blown away. All of the sudden, I started seeing my singleness as a good thing. Immediately I thought back to my conversation with Werner and him asking me what I am learning about myself.
I’m learning so much more than what I shared with him. I’m learning about my life purpose. I am forming a vision of who I want to be and how I can serve in my community. I am learning to understand the gifts I have and how I can make a difference in this world.
I am becoming myself. I can’t wait to share this with Werner on our first date this week.
