Last week the kids and I spread Rick’s ashes off the coast of Maui. I’m thankful for my sister and brother-in-law and nieces that were by our side and for the friends and family that checked in with me to make sure I was okay. A common sentiment was, “That must have been so hard.” If I said it wasn’t, would you judge me?
Don’t get me wrong. There were tears and my hands were shaking and I was to choked up to speak. And while it was difficult, it was beautiful, peaceful and healing. I said goodbye to Rick on July 11, 2017 and on April 17, 2019, I said hello to Julie version 2.
There was nothing wrong with Julie version 1, except she was defined in large part by her life with Rick. And without him, she had to learn how to find happiness again.
Julie version 2 misses Rick dearly. Yet she is focused on living her best life in this next phase. And slowly but surely she is finding joy at every turn.
She loves her dream home. She loves her new role at work. She loves her new church and her new friends in the city. She is working toward new goals – to be a writer and to “make them yummy meals”. She is a little bit thinner and she is feeling prettier with longer hair. Her children are doing well and she loves seeing them soar. She smiles a lot. She is happy.
Spreading Rick’s ashes was difficult. But it wasn’t the kind of difficult I anticipated. And I truly believe the timing was key. We ended our week long stay in Maui with a wedding anniversary celebration and when we took off for home I knew I was likely leaving Maui for the last time. While it’s a place that holds many special memories, Julie v. 2 is ready for a new adventure.