Having attended 10 schools and having lived in 7 States and 13 homes, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to make many friends over the course of my life. While some are content to have a small circle of close friends, I love having an enormous circle of friends that represent various interests and commonalities.
It has become easier to make friends as I’ve aged but I clearly remember being close minded about finding new friends when I moved from New Jersey to Illinois in 1980. I was so upset about leaving my best friend behind and I was determined to let everyone know just how unfair my life was. One day a new friend lovingly scolded me saying she was tired of hearing about how great my friends in NJ were and reminded me that I had good friends in Illinois as well. It was a good wake up call. Making new friends wasn’t going to diminish the love I had for my New Jersey friends. And refusing to let new friends in was only serving to make me and those around me miserable.
As I have added more and more friends, the blessings in my life have multiplied. I marvel at the support I received (and continue to receive) since Rick’s passing. I love all the new friends I am making in Georgia while maintaining older friendships from work and school and past neighborhoods. I love that God gave me unlimited room in my heart for more and more friends.
I didn’t need to make room for more friends. I didn’t want my friendship with “B” to end, but it did. She provided incredible moral support that I desperately needed during my healing journey in Chicago. And I reciprocated with a different kind of support, supporting her business. Today I was abruptly cut off and I spent the day stewing over this failed friendship. I started questioning whether I was taken advantage of and the unfairness of it stirred thoughts of revenge and retaliation, much like my quest 43 years ago to share my misery with the company around me.
Here we go again. Grief, you keep knocking on my door and I can’t lock you out.
As I re-read the poem, A Reason, Season, or Lifetime, I was reminded that sometimes friendships end without any wrongdoing on our part. God put her in my life for a reason, just like Rick was in my life for a season. I wish that knowing this lessened the pain but it does not. But it does help me focus on gratitude for the fun times we shared and the moral support she provided when I needed it most.
Like the Girl Scouts suggest, I will continue to make new friends and keep the old. At least for a season.
