Celebrating his birthday without him was hard. Thanksgiving and Christmas, also hard. New Years and St. Patty’s day – hard because those days carry special meaning to our relationship. Second only to the most special day of all – March 28, our Wedding day. How do you celebrate the anniversary of your wedding day when you are no longer a party of 2?
Obviously there will not be a romantic dinner for two, a special vacation or an exchange of cards or flowers or gifts or a good morning Happy Anniversary hug and kiss. So how do you celebrate the sweet memories and 25 years and 104 days of marriage? Till “death do us part” became my reality and the end of his life means the end of our marriage. And the end of a marriage means the end of anniversary celebrations of that marriage.
I’m not ready to stop celebrating. So this year I chose to host a celebration of Rick’s life and invited our wedding party, and our closest family and friends that were part of our special day in 1992 to join me and my children in toasting Rick.
It was a magical night. Friends and family traveled from California, Florida, Minnesota, New Jersey, and Ohio. My bestie Kelly arranged the most beautiful floral arrangements, complete with my favorite calla lilies. My bestie Mitch brought a special bottle of wine from our Party of 6 weekend in Napa. Girlfriends from Oswego tended bar and mixed up a great signature cocktail – a Ricki Tiki Tym – vodka and Arnold Palmer mix for my guy that loved to golf. We played music from our 1992 wedding and many of Rick’s favorites from the BoDeans.
I felt beautiful, dressed in a blue gown with my hair and make up perfect. Walking in to the party felt a lot like walking down the aisle 26 years ago to meet my groom. The nervous excitement was even similar. And it wasn’t sad walking in to meet my friends instead of my lover. I felt loved. Loved by my children, family and closest friends. Their support means I’m not a party of one. I’m a party of many.
As I raised my glass to toast my husband the tears did flow. I wasn’t able to be as eloquent and poised as I wanted to be but I was able to verbalize my love and appreciation for the man who loved me fiercely and left me with so many sweet memories and a reminder to make tym for what is important in life. Most importantly, he left me with his greatest legacy — our two beautiful children. Just like their father, they are kind, funny, loving and the most important part of my life.
Speaking of which, after the party the three of us hung out in my apartment. They played pranks on me and we laughed and celebrated our time as a party of 3.
