Category: new beginnings

7-11-17 to 11-7-18

Posted on by Julie in alone, new beginnings

My dearest Rick,

Tomorrow is 11-SEVEN-18 and it will be 483 days since SEVEN-11-17, the day you took your last breath. The hard days are fewer and far between but yesterday was a really hard day.

I just spent a weekend with my college friend Ann and I also got to see my college friends Alice, Diane, and Shelby.  You know how much I love my girl time and our time shopping, dining and drinking wine was really great.  We went to Erik’s game and then I spent Sunday with Annika doing more shopping, dining and drinking wine.  Before I fell asleep Sunday night I stared at your picture on her nightstand.  I’ve removed your pictures from my bedroom so I suppose its been a while since I looked at your smiling face.  I woke in the middle of the night from a nightmare. I don’t remember what it was about but I cried out loud enough to wake the grand pups.

It was a long drive home and I had a good cry between Iowa City and the Quad Cities. I’m so lonely without you Rick. I miss you so much and it is so unfair that we will not grow old together.  A 5 1/2 hour drive by myself meant lots of time to think.  I spent a lot of that time talking to God.  I do that a lot lately and this might surprise you but I am learning to be a better listener during these conversations. I find it strange, but your death has strengthened my faith in HIM.

God is answering my prayers, yet my day was filled with doubt and despair. The kind of despair that should have brought me to my knees in prayer – but I was driving.  Still, I prayed for God to fill the terrible void I feel.  I prayed for him to bring someone into my life that I can share all of life’s moments with.  After returning home, I went to the doctor for my annual check-up and I really needed to talk to you about it.  In my customary fashion I sat down with the computer and started writing, with tears flowing. And then he called to see how my doctor appointment was.

Before I tell you who HE is, here is some background.

On September 11, I took some time to write down what I am seeking in a relationship in this next phase of my life. SEVEN days later, (the day after your birthday) I met him on the SEVENTH dating app I tried. He checks all the boxes. He is a Christian. He is a loving father. And he loves football. Since that day we have talked ALOT. He has the gift of gab just like you. We also text a lot. I know that wasn’t your thing but I don’t think you ever discovered the talk to text feature!

He is such a sweet man Rick. He has a strong faith in God and he is devoted to his children and grandchildren. The big drawback is the distance between us. While neither of us were looking for a match outside our local area, we matched and we have really connected over the past SEVEN weeks.  He lives in Michigan. It’s not a huge distance but the added time zone change and our busy lives have made it difficult for us to connect in person…until now.

Tomorrow, on 11-SEVEN-18 we are going out on our first date. And I wanted you to be the first to know!

I will always love you Rick.

Julie

 

I made a new friend!

Posted on by Julie in new beginnings

Growing up, my family moved every few years.  I always dreaded that first day in a new school.  I was terribly shy and worried about who I would sit with at lunch.  It always worked out and when it did, I can clearly remember that glorious feeling of making a new friend.  I’ve made many friends since those grade school days but it wasn’t until recently that I experienced that joyous feeling — the feeling of relief on the first day in a new place, knowing that it’s going to be okay.

I am blessed to have so many wonderful friends in my life.  Friends all over the United States that I met through school and work.  College friends, sorority sisters, neighbors, church friends, girl scout friends, parents of my children’s friends, even friends I made on the internet by being a Skimmbassador.  http://theskimm.com/?r=05119132   (Shameless plug!)

I lost my best friend and that has rocked my world in unimaginable ways.   Coupled with my recent move, I’ve been lonelier than ever.  While I no longer worry about who to eat lunch with, I am on my own in a new place.  My friends are only a phone call or text away but I miss having my best friend to have dinner with and to talk about our days, among other things. Facebook, FaceTime, and lunch dates are great but it’s not the same.  It will never be the same.

Yet my friendships are stronger than ever and I could not be more grateful.. While my besties (pictured here) are my lifelong friends that know me better than anyone, my neighbor friends are in a special class of their own.  These are the friends that jump into action at the first moment of need.  We cook for each other; we run errands for each other; we have coffee together; we drink wine together on our decks; we play Bunco religiously every month; we work out together; we have dinner parties; we attend funerals and weddings and graduations together; we travel together.  A few of them are going to bartend for me at my upcoming black tie anniversary party.  I love them so.  We are a community.

Why in the world did I move away from such a wonderful neighborhood where I have such an incredible support network of friends?  Whoever buys my home in Oswego is in for a treat and I’m not even charging extra for the amazing friends they are going to meet.

So when I met a new friend earlier this week, a friend just one floor below me, I felt that same excitement as I did after my first day of fourth grade in Fayetteville, Arkansas.  Mind you, I have not met this new neighbor in person but as soon as I read her bio we briefly chatted over Facebook messenger.   Now I cannot wait for her to move in.  Like me, she is a single, empty nester career woman with college kids.  And according to her Instagram she is a foodie and wine lover.  Sounds like a match made in heaven, right?

While I love my new building, I would guess the average owner is around 75 and retired.  OK – I’m exaggerating and I have nothing against older friends – in fact, I really enjoyed meeting many neighbors at the holiday party and one older gentleman planted the idea of a progressive dinner party for everyone in the “C/D Tier” and I’m all over that!   However, when I think of my closest friends I think about girlfriends that I can call in a pinch – ones that will drink wine with me while I cry about how unfair it is to be a widow at age 53; friends that will never tire of me sharing stories of Rick.   So you can imagine my excitement to be able to find a new friend my age in my new neighborhood with some common interests.

If she reads this I hope she won’t be creeped out by my instant womance (that is the female version of bromance by the way) and I hope she doesn’t feel pressured to live up to the high standards that my Gates Creek gals have set.  Who knows… when we meet, one of us may decide there is just no chemistry for a womance but for now, I am excited by the possibility.  And if things work out,  I can call my mom and say, “Guess what mom!  I made a new friend!”