Category: New Home

Just Looking

Posted on by Julie in Grief, Maketym, New Home

Last night I spent some time with my new neighbors Ann and Michael.  They are a lovely couple, also new to the building having relocated from California.  They have have a beautiful art collection, love the Cubs, lean left politically and have excellent taste in wine.  I see many great times ahead as this friendship continues to grow.

We shared an amazing bottle of Cabernet as we discussed a decorating plan for our shared foyer and we ordered nameplates for our doors.  Ann referred me to a fabulous hairdresser that knows just how to make women over 50 look fabulous and as I left she agreed to look out for packages by my back door while I’m away on business.

Back in my apartment, I settled in with one more glass of wine and feeling on a roll with making new connections, I started scoping out some dating web sites.  WHAT?  Oh Boy.  I blame it on my colleague who lost her husband a month after Rick passed.  She planted the idea earlier in the day when we were stair climbing on a work break.

I didn’t post any pictures or create a profile.  I was just looking.  Like I respond to the sales clerks offering their assistance in a fancy store where I cannot afford the merchandise… “No thank you…I’m just looking”

I checked out a few profiles and while a few were interesting, none resonated with me even a little.  I started to imagine meeting someone for coffee, going to a show, starting anew in establishing a relationship and it scared the hell out of me.  If I decide I’m not interested how do I bow out gracefully?  If I am interested and he is not, how do I deal with the rejection?   Is there someone out there that can come close to the man I loved for 27 years?

I panicked.  Undo!  Unsubscribe!   That didn’t work.  This isn’t an online retailer Julie!

Of course the internet has a way of sending you down a rabbit hole and I soon got emails with  “More Matches are ready for your review” and referrals to articles like “Top Ten Dating Mistakes to Avoid”.    I feel like I started down a path that I can’t undo.  There is no rewind button when it comes to death.

But I can press pause.  I need to Maketym for so many things as I settle in to my new home.  I’m in the midst of a remodel and redecorating project and I’m planning a black tie affair for my wedding anniversary.   Then I can pick up on the many quilting and scrapbook and stamping projects that I’ve put on hold.  I have web design and writing classes to take, concerts and sporting events to attend, reunions to plan.  And lots of new wine to try.  Meanwhile, I’m just looking.

I Met the Perfect Guy

Posted on by Julie in Love, New Home

I’m excited to share that I have met the perfect guy. Before you judge me for moving to fast, hear me out.

This guy is selfless. He puts others needs ahead of his own, always anticipating what that person might want or need. As such, he is an excellent host and he is the kind of neighbor that anyone would be thrilled to live near. He knows my love language (service) and he takes care of tasks that mean the world to me – like doing my laundry and buying groceries that fit my point goals on Weight Watchers.

My kids love him and he loves my kids.

We are both to old to have children but he will be a terrific grandfather someday. We are both near retirement age and have similar interests; We plan to travel to Hawaii, spend time on the golf course and he fully supports my desire to write full time.

Perfect may have been the wrong word to describe him. He does have a few faults – don’t we all? He is such a neat freak, I have learned to be more tidy to avoid arguments. He isn’t good at making decisions and although he loves me I know he won’t propose. He also worries endlessly. This makes me roll my eyes when he isn’t looking. And he doesn’t share my love of city life. This last “fault” will be the biggest source of compromise for us if we are to continue our relationship.

But there are bigger problems. Although he has friended me on Facebook, he doesn’t answer my texts or calls. He does visit me occasionally but when I wake up he is no longer there. I stare at his picture on my nightstand and smile thinking of the sweet memories we made and I cry thinking of the memories we should be continuing to make. I know he would not want me to be sad. He would be here to wrap his arms around me if he could. But God has called him home and while he would love my new home in the city, he is waiting for me to join him in his new home.